Stepping In

In an article called “What Is White Privilege, Really?” (Teaching Tolerance), the author Cory Collins, writes “White privilege is not just the power to find what you need in a convenience store or to move through the world without your race defining your interactions. It’s not just the subconscious comfort of seeing a world that serves you as normal. It’s also the power to remain silent in the face of racial inequity. It’s the power to weigh the need for protest or confrontation against the discomfort or inconvenience of speaking up. It’s getting to choose when and where you want to take a stand. It’s knowing that you and your humanity are safe.”

I have sat on the sidelines most of my life. Naturally quiet and self-reflective, I’ve lived under the radar, kept my voice quiet, followed the “rules”, and avoided confrontation. It’s been safe here on the sidelines – comfortable, convenient and effortless.

Noticing this of myself, and its impacts, became clearer when I began a journey into my own personal decolonization a few years ago – a journey that prompted me to wake up and look within. It also forced me to look outside my safe bubble to what’s happening in the world. It’s a journey I know will continue for as long as I live.

But it’s been a slow start. Despite my learning over the past few years, I have used my privilege to think, reflect, and learn at my own pace – and then step in whenever I want, which has been very little.

Learning and reflection are a big part of my life. It’s natural for me to learn. To think. To relate my learning to what’s happening within. It’s a love I have.

The past couple of weeks have made me realize that staying in my learning is a safe place. I can learn and learn, but what’s the point if I don’t action it somehow?

That action looks different for many people. And that action can seem risky.  But that’s what getting off the sidelines means: taking action and taking risk. Engaging. As an individual that risk may seem big. It means bursting the bubble that I have clung to all my life, one that has been created to benefit me, at the expense of others. When I realized this, I saw that it is hardly about me as individual. It’s about taking action because lives are at stake.

The oppression, discrimination, racism – it’s faced every day by black people, and has been over hundreds of years.

There are many images and pictures that resonated with me in the past week. This was one of them. It shows that we only see the tip of the iceberg in a system that has been designed to hide it all. The tip of the iceberg is the videos we see or what gets into the news. It’s George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Eric Reason, Breonna Taylor, and others who we are fighting for. What’s underneath it all is the racism we don’t see, but is there. It’s what I have contributed to over my lifetime.

It’s time to get off the sidelines. It started within, and now, more than ever, it needs to move outwards. I feel I’m many years too late.

• In my work, I want to make sure that every time I create a workshop, or help a faculty member, that I am aware of the lens I’m using in presenting ideas, and that I bring forward the work of individuals or groups who are marginalized.
• I want to continue to examine my own privilege and how its impacting others.
• I want to engage in conversations about racism even if I feel unprepared and uncomfortable.
• I want to make sure my kids know the history of Canada and that I engage them in conversations about race and discrimination.
• I want to continue to bring forward the voices of black people and other marginalized groups through any power I have i.e. my work, social media, and conversation.

I want to continue my journey – for it be intentional and long-lasting.  I want to do more, in ways that are authentic to me, but also more than me.

I’m open to feedback on my thoughts and behaviour, continued learning, and promise to do my part to break down this oppressive, discriminating, white privileged system that exists.

#blacklivesmatter
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• Being in education, I came across the webinar offered by The Centre for Integrative Anti-Racism Studies and the Centre for Leadership and Diversity at OISE (Ontario Institute for Studies in Education), which brings forward perspectives and learnings to addressing anti-racism in education. https://play.library.utoronto.ca/…/94620a5d967da25ba8d3e6c0…

• I’ve been learning a lot from @kayrichae on Instagram. She has really great resources, one of which is “How to be Actively Antiracist”, and inspiring live sessions on Instagram.

• I’ve also be referring to @andrearanaej on Instagram quite a bit. What I love about her messaging is that she encourages us to use our own unique strengths to make change and not to fall into any “right way” as prescribed by others. And then, at the same time, to recognize the consequences of what we bring forward of ourselves.

• I’ve also been getting so much from this site. Its mission is to: “help teachers and schools educate children and youth to be active participants in a diverse democracy.” https://www.tolerance.org/

• Some books for children: https://www.buzzfeed.com/…/childrens-books-about-race-and-r…

• I recently purchased the following, which have also been recommended.

Freedom Over Me: Eleven Slaves, Their Lives and Dreams Brought to Life, by Ashley Bryan

We are Water Protectors, by Carole Lindstrom (Goodreads Author), Michaela Goade (Illustrations)