All the interactions and activities I engage in over the course of a day include a very deliberate dance to maneuver and survive in what appears to be a mostly extroverted world.

Hello, my name is Dana and I am an introvert.

What does that mean?

It means that I have a “maximum” for social stimulation. I can mingle at a party with the best of them, but when I have reached my maximum, energy directed at me becomes energy zapping, not an energy source. For example, if I’m at a party, you may find me chatting among a small group of people one moment, and then “hiding” in the kitchen or a quiet den a half hour later. At a meeting, I may spend more time listening than speaking, and then email you my ideas a couple hours later.

It means that all the interactions and activities I engage in over the course of a day include a very deliberate dance to maneuver and survive in what appears to be a mostly extroverted world.

How does one who generally likes solitude and reflection survive long term in a world where noise is the norm? My technique for surviving is called the “Triple P”.

Peace, Plan, Ponder

PEACE:

Let’s experience some Peace. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. And again. Wasn’t that nice? Peace is so important for me to find throughout the day – to recharge my batteries. But let me tell you – with two small children and a full-time job it is difficult to find it! My destination is usually the bathroom (and even that is often interrupted by kids who have learned how to pick a lock) or the car. “Honey, I’m just going to zip down to the store to pick up some milk! Be right back!” I literally run out of the house before my husband or kids can catch me. Then, I drive to the nearest parking lot, park the car and tilt the seat back for ten minutes of silence.

Having this peace and quiet is such an important aspect of my introvert life that I have made sure to explain its importance to those around me. Especially to my husband who tells me I’m antisocial because I’d rather read than go out with friends. Or I get excited when someone has cancelled something on me. I’m married to an extrovert, so it’s become important to set the standard on my stimulation.

PLAN:

The second way I manage this busy, loud world is to Plan. I’m going to let you in on a big secret. I don’t plan just because I like to be organized. I plan because it allows me to control how much time and energy I need to invest in something. For example, my husband likes to go to his parent’s summer trailer, which sits on Lake Erie in Ontario. It’s a beautiful location, nestled at the end of a short street, and a view that is worth a million dollars. I love to go there and sit on the back porch. In the summer I enjoy reclining in a lawn chair, closing my eyes, feeling the sun in my face, and listening to the waves lap against the shore.

I remember a time when I was six months pregnant and glorifying in the warmth of the sun on the back porch. Out of the blue Derek announced we were invited to his friend’s place up the street. Now they are good people, but there are usually lots of them! It was exhausting to even think about. Normally I would have agreed and somehow summoned up my social side. But this day, I refused. Planning is a very important survival technique for my introverted self. I want to be able to interact with those who are important to me, to enjoy being with them and planning gives me the opportunity to do this in a positive way.

PONDER:

The final P is Ponder. Now this is a very difficult one to find – especially in the business world. When I work I’m generally expected to have answers quickly, to contribute readily, to be able to clearly articulate my thoughts. Except that as an introvert I like to mull things over, to ponder it and analyze it, before I present my view point. When I first started to work, sitting in meetings was an exercise in listening. Today, I have to force myself to contribute at least one or two times. It’s not my favorite part of work, but it’s expected of me. Thankfully, I have developed relationships with my bosses so that they understand I may come back later with more ideas – once I’ve had a chance to ponder. And I do make sure I have a chance to ponder often. It’s when I do my best work, when I’m most happy and it’s what motivates me to be my best.

So, that’s the triple P – I have made peace, planning and pondering important requirements in my life. As an introvert they are necessary so that I can function effectively and be successful.

I may be quiet at times or shut my office door but that action doesn’t tell you everything about me. Now that you know my Triple Ps, you can see that my actions are motivated by techniques focused on ways to preserve my energy so that I can give the best of myself to you.

Like right now, as I take time away to ponder and write, and soon to be pulled away by my fighting children.

If you can’t find me, then I’m probably hiding…um…I mean finding peace – in my car.

Unfolding Tip:

You don’t always have to “jump right in”. Discover your boundaries and use them to your advantage.